Tap To Transform : Ruth

The Ego is a construct explained by many spiritual authors and Buddist teachings. For a long time,I have been fascinated to learn about ego and its effects on our state of being. In reading work by Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson and Eckard Tolle, I have compiled a description of the ego and higher self.

The Ego is the part of us that keeps us separate in this world - in relationships, in nature, and from God. Dyer writes the ego means to “edge God out”. The Ego is the part of us that is stuck in negative critical thinking filled with judgements. The Ego is never in the present; rather it is focused on the past or future and filled with fear. The ego is fear based rather than love based. So for example the ego will interpret situations in a negative frame - looking for what is wrong. The Ego is not at peace - either in anguish about past events or worried about the future. Ego creates or feels conflict and turmoil. It is difficult for the ego to be present as the mind is always spinning and obsessing; the Buddhists would call the “monkey mind”. The ego either feels inferior or superior in situations and often unconscious about feeling or acting this way.

We all have ego as we are human. To transform out of ego to experience life in compassion and love; we want to move to our “Higher self”.The higher self is conscious of feelings and its goal is to be present. For it is only in the present we can feel inner peace. Higher Self looks for the good and what is helpful; looking to reframe negative situations. The Higher Self feels connected to everything (nature, people, God) and this connectedness brings inner peace. The Higher Self is love based rather than fear based. In other words it looks for compassion rather than judgement.

What are some ways to move toward the Higher Self?

Using positive questions when feeling critical or judgemental to move out of this state is a great tool to move out of negativity. Some great questions include:

What’s another way to look at this situation that is more helpful or healing?

How can I look at this with more compassion?

If my friend thought this, what would I say to help them?

What can I do now to move out of this bad place, thought..?

What evidence do I have that this situation is really awful?

Right now,  do I need to be right or am I seeking peace?

Eckard Tolle and  many Buddhist teachings, teach us the importance of breath mediation to bring us back to the present when we are stuck in past or obsessing about the future. Just taking moments to come back to breath. You can’t be stuck in past or future when you’re still. When you are still and breathing, you are present. And when you are present you can begin to feel the inner peace the of your Higher Self.

Clients will often ask why we focus on the negative part of the problem as we tap. I believe it is important to honor the negative feelings as they arise which then can give space to inviting the positive reframes later. I’m sure you’ve had the experience when upset and someone said,”Don’t worry, it’s not that bad, let’s think of the posiitve in this situation”. And you just wanted to slap them! You might not have felt heard as you needed some time to process the feelings of sadness or anger at that moment.  With EFT, you tap on a few rounds of the feelings that are coming up. And when your SUDS (rating) goes down some; you can then invite positive reframes to uplift you.

The next question clients often ask; is what do I say. There are really no right or wrong words. I did come up with a technique originating from NLP (neuro linguistic programming) that can be very helpful to structure your statements. NLP looks at how the mind/brain processes information and communicates information The 3 main ways we process are: Visual(V), Kinesthetic(K) and Auditory (A).

Visual means how we see the world and we say things. A visual person will say, “I see what you mean” or “I can visualize that”

Kinesthetic means we process through our feelings and we say things like: “I feel so good about this”, or” I can sense it really means alot” or “I love going to the movies”

Auditory means we process through our self talk  and we say things like “I can hear that voice in my head” or “I have this knowing it will work out”

How to put this into practice with EFT?
Let’s say you’ve been tapping on insomnia and the stressors that are feeding into it. After you’ve tapped a few rounds on the stress;  ASK yourself what is I want instead of insomnia? I want rest, I want this to be easy. Using your answers you can plug in the different modalities of Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic. Play around with it.Here is an example:

Starting with the eyebrow point (EB)

- I allow myself to rest deeply tonight (A)

- I sink into my pillow and feel the warm cozy sheets (K)

- I see myself resting peacefully and effortlessly (v)

- I love going to sleep and letting my thoughts just drift (A)

- Feeling a calming white light melt all around me (K)

Using the different modalities can enhance your abiltiy to reframe your situation to happier and hopeful state of mind. Please see the tab on EFT to learn about the meridian points.

Hi, and welcome to my new web site and new blog.  I will be adding articles regarding emotional freedom techniques, EFT for weight loss and much more.  Be sure to check back often!